A victims perspective

Note Child molestation is the same as Child Sexual Abuse, in the eyes of the law, a “child” is a person aged under 18. To understand this topic, we need to understand what the police definition is based upon, child molestation is a crime committed by an adult against a child where the adult touches the child’s body with “lewd and lascivious intent for sexual stimulation”. Consent is not considered as the child would have been too young to have given it, as such, it is not entertained as a defence.

 

Example:

John was a 10-year-old boy who was being touched in his genital area by his aunt, whom he loved deeply, from a legal point we would seek to find out how long the situation had allegedly gone on, at what age did he realise what she was (allegedly) doing was wrong and so on. When he did realise the alleged treatment was not normal, did he want it to stop?

 

The questions he would ask himself are rather more profound: -

• It didn’t hurt, she would never hurt me;
• I didn’t mind her touching me there, it felt “nice”, I felt “special”?
• What “real harm” was done; we were just playing our “special game”?
• If I tell on her then she would get into huge trouble, my family would hate her and call her names, some of the family will say I am lying, they would never want to see me again.
• I would get her in lots of trouble with the police.
• Am I just being silly, maybe she was just being silly and playing? and ultimately
• Is it worth causing all this upset when I can simply tell her I don’t want to “play that game” anymore?

 

Ultimately his end goal would be to correct the behaviours that he does not like, by simply telling her that he doesn’t like it / doesn’t want to play that way anymore may, in all likelihood be enough. This is why most instances between family members either never come to light or are dealt with internally within the family itself. Whilst this may seem that the perpetrator has, from a legal perspective “got away with it” the chances are that the abuser would be left in no doubt that if such activities are indeed taking place, then they must never happen again. Ultimately it is a fair consideration to question what emotional trauma would befall the child if the matter were formally reported to the police.

 

The understanding that they would have to re-live any experiences, plus the knowledge that they would be permanently harming their relationship with their family, and the fact that the report would split the family apart would also be a consideration. Some will think the child is lying, some will think the abuser is evil, these opinions will last a lifetime and never heal. Ultimately the question would be that as the claimed abuse either never happened, or would immediately stop then what “harm” was done and what good would disclosing the matter to the police do? what physical or forensic evidence or proof of any kind is there? is it a child’s word against an adults?

 

It should be noted that forms of child sexual abuse are not limited to touching, they would also include engaging in sexual activities with a child, indecent exposure, child grooming, and child sexual exploitation, including using a child to produce child pornography. It can happen to a child of any race, socioeconomic group, religion or culture.

 

Health consequences suffered by the child, who knows that it is wrong but is still subject to it may include:

• Depression, anxiety, loss of self-esteem;
• Inappropriate sexual behaviour;
• Loss of social competence;
• Body image concerns etc.

 

If you suspect a child you care for is experiencing such issues then we suggest watching a NSPCC video entitled “My Private Parts”, or getting a book online which informs a child the dangers of such abuse.

 

How we can help

To gain our assistance you need to open a case, this is done by taking advantage of our free consultation service, activated by the link at the top of the page, should you wish to start a case the caseworker will send you the suitable payment link.

 

Please note your caseworker can only give generic advice, their role is to prepare your details for handling by our appointed financial advisor and to act as your point of contact, they will also issue you with your Password and PIN, these will be needed to log onto your client dashboard. From your dashboard you will be able to manage and view every aspect of your case, upload documents, images, files etc.